Fan fare

Nice ploy by Doritos getting people to make them a TV commercial for free. And not a bad one, I might add.

And yuks abound in this imaginary collection of bad children's books.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Scratch that

Tell me this real and spectacular motorcycle accident doesn't look like a video game. [SV.com]

And a handwriting font for doctors that looks pretty authentic as well.

"Hope is a pleasant acquaintance, but an unsafe friend." - Thomas Chandler Haliburton

Measure twice, cut once

Bob's Workshop gives you handy step-by-step instructions on how to build a bookshelf — if you're man enough to follow them.

And photo aging: five guys, 30 years, one pose.

"Great acts are made up of small deeds." - Lao Tzu

Good migrations

The hills are alive with the sound of scuttling that is the wonderful horror of hermit crabs migrating. You may ask yourself where all those crabs are going and why. Not unlike our beaches in the 70s, if you think about it. As one commenter put it, "It's like a magical cross between a classic car show and the walking dead. Strangely beautiful." [bOING bOING]

And can you identify the arse or bishop in these obscured photos, or are you going to hell?

"If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself." - Confucius

iDisappoint

A post-Cold War slap from this Eastern Bloc iPhone unboxing gag. More proof-positive we want the government doing everything for us.

And a Tumblr of some damning iPhone Maps debacle humor.

"Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose."
- Bill Gates

Dogs suck

While not likely a film you want to see, the "Vampire Dog" trailer is pretty entertaining and gives you yet another chance to hear Norm MacDonald voiceover a live action dog.

And if you feel like you've seen that one before, here's a little infographic on Hollywood's waning creativity.

Also on the silver screen topic, see what you know about classic movie outfits. (Highlight the black boxes to see the answers.)

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

Bird brain

Give a bird a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a bird fishing tackle and it's a whole other story.

And if you need to kill a few minutes, play six degrees of Kevin Bacon on Google.

"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
- Yogi Berra

Cool bus

What certainly must be the best bus commercial ever made comes to us from Denmark, so make sure you click the "CC" button to get subtitles. [Buzzfeed]

Also, what a real life Clue mansion would cost you.

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." - George Burns

Hoods in the hood

Hooded parkour aficionado takes his best shot at a real-life demo of the video game "Assassin’s Creed", acrobatting over walls, building ledges, fountains, etc. [Mashable]

And if you find that it takes too long to get to the good part when playing Windows Solitaire, now you can have the gain without the pain.

"People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it." - George Bernard Shaw

Undercut

Amazon, purveyor of fine computin' tablets, unveils the incredibly versatile "Wendell", a new device that beats even its ultra-cheap $69 basic Kindle, in this imaginative ad from Conan O’Brien and Team Coco. [Mashable]

And LOL and other figures of speech don't always mean what you think they do in the private language of New York restaurant-ese.

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

Happy hour

Watch as a so-proclaimed world's best bartender puts on an impressive drink-making show. But three minutes to pour a cocktail...? Beer might be your best bet. (Thanks rasric)

And only vaguely related, America's best public bathrooms, an annual contest run by Cintas, maker of supplies for fine crappers everywhere. [bOING bOING]

"If you want something done right, get someone else to do it." - Marion Giacomini

Spin cycle

An amusing little Physics 101 exhibition, rodent style, in 2 Hamsters 1 Wheel.

And Cats in Stupid Places proves yet again that feline foolery on the interwebs is undoubtedly funny.

"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Keys to life

Never lose your car keys again with the Keycopter, a brand new airbreaking invention.

And consider a new set of badass middle finger keys to go with your new attitude.

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." - Anne Frank

Penmanship

Timelapse video of artist Patrick Vale in an Empire State of Pen, as he draws a view of the Manhattan skyline from that iconic building.

And a Timeline of Future Events, including a Venus landing, New York enclosed in a big dome, and what happens to Lady Gaga, as predicted by novels and stories.

"I would rather lose in a cause that will some day win, than win in a cause that will some day lose." - Woodrow Wilson

No chickens

Watch this feather-raising clip of an insane momma duck leading her ducklings across five busy lanes of freeway traffic. [Mashable]

And this for-some-reason fascinating wind map shows you the "delicate tracery of wind flowing over the US".

"Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold." - Helen Keller

Channel strategy

Lip-sync'd adults plow deadpan through a ridiculous script "written" by children in this debut installment of "Kid Snippets", Salesman, from BoredShortsTV.

Also, an amusing blog called Fake Science, a "less-than-factual" site crammed with "scientifically-flavored information" that is best consumed "when the facts are too confusing." (And read this Smithsonian Mag article if you're interested in how it came to be.)

"Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." - Abraham Lincoln

Why not?

How better to kill part of a long boring retail shift than to come up with better names for things in the store's inventory...?

And xkcd has begun to answer hypothetical questions at What If?.

"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - Andre Gide

How low can you go?

Tim Storms holds the world record for the lowest note ever sung by a human — a G-7, or 0.189 Hz. Listen here as he belts out "Amazing Grace" with some amazing bass. [bOING bOING]

And an amusing Tumblr known as Dogshaming features photos submitted by dog owners publicly humiliating their hounds with explanatory signage. [Mashable]

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." - Andy Rooney

Break time

Take note: this Breaking Bad dance remix music vid may be the TV show trailer of the future. (Warning: spoilers for seasons 1 and 2.) [bOING bOING]

And if you're having trouble keeping up with which celebrities are still kickin', Death Rumors might be a big help.

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake." - W.C. Fields