Charlie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says, "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His wife is lying in bed and replies, "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says, "I think you'll find that I wasn't talking to you."
(Thanks Ken)
The Grapist
Advertising pitch meeting for a grape juice company. For some reason they're afraid the new campaign might strike the wrong chord...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fqq051BU2MY
Hamster vs. pencil
Rule #1: never try to eat anything longer than your body.
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1911881
Fast Food Folk
A nice alternative to the rap flavors of this ilk. Making drive-thru hell just a little bit funnier...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uwY3sjqYX0
It ain't easy
Time-lapse of 1200 lbs. of cheese being carved. Looks like Mr. Carver took advantage of the free snacks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0bQh2ipARI
QuOteD
"My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate." -- Thornton Wilder
Picture Show: You Are What You Eat
The fridge is the window to the soul?
http://www.good.is/post/picture-show-you-are-what-you-eat/
Meat me later
Why settle for dull, inedible business cards when you can have your contact info scorched into a slab of jerky?
http://www.meatcards.com/
Scanwiches
Mouth-watering selection of deli sandwiches, halved and digitally scanned, giving new meaning to the term "document feeder".
http://scanwiches.com/
Friday Game: Sprout
Good luck. Check the comments (by clicking the "More information" link) for some clues.
http://www.smart-kit.com/games/sprout/
VISA is Hungry
The Daily Tube review: "We can't tell whether this is a real or a fake ad for VISA, the giant beneveolent credit card company. But we're reassured by the soothing images, the gentle narration, and the pleasing imagery. Gosh, we just feel like going out and charging something. Thanks, VISA!"
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6e54cfdafd/visa-is-hungry
Famous last words
"I feel about airplanes the same way I feel about diets. It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on." -- Jean Kerr
Enjoy and have a good weekend,
Vin
Most Americans think it improper to spank children, but the other day I was talking to one of my younger friends about methods used to discipline children. We talked about "time outs", grounding, holding back rewards until the child displayed desired behavior, etc.
One of the things we discussed was the act of spanking and my friend explained that no, she does not spank any of her children. She explained that what she does is to take the misbehaving child out for a ride in the car and talk. She said that usually this works and that the child calms down fairly quickly and really doesn't take too much time. By removing the child -- in this case her son -- from the immediate situation and providing a change of scenery, the child is allowed to focus on something different.
Once the child has the opportunity to change perspective, things get better quickly and the child has better understanding of his place within the family and begins to understand the family's concept of acceptable behavior.
She was kind enough to share a picture of the process...
There's an app for that
But of course there is. Amusing iPhone ad parody, whether you own one or (especially if) not.
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1740037387?bctid=22360583001
P.I.S.S
Kings of glam rock suffer a major improvement via surreal dubbing and a brave new musical direction.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw5oJoUYTb8
A no-doubt box office mega-(s)hit
Greatest trailer ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa7ck5mcd1o
How's your day looking?
"A Day in the Life Viewed Entirely in Logos." Feel free to substitute your personal brand preference.
http://www.geekologie.com/2009/05/a_day_in_the_life_viewed_entir.php
QuOteD
"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?" -- Frank Scully
Gotha love 'em
"A Celebration of the Sunshine Goth" answers the question of what they do in the summer months.
http://gothsinhotweather.blogspot.com/
Geo-typography
Hard work combing through Google Maps to find geoscape that looks like letters. Someone suggested a font for Office 2010.
http://rhettdashwood.com.au/#16575
Fri'd Game: Bastard Tetris
Just Tetris but makes sure you don't get the pieces you need.
http://l0ser.net/src/as3/bastet/
The 10 Most Pitiful Pieces of Mr. T Merchandise
Fools rush in.
http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/05/the_10_most_pitiful_pieces_of_mr_t_merchandise.php
Famous last words
"Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." -- Franklin P. Jones
Happy trails and a bueno weekend,
Vinnie Dub
Did You Know...?
...that your head will spin after you learn all these factoids?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL9Wu2kWwSY
The Domino Effect
Supposedly 17,560 of them, though I didn't confirm. (And if that isn't enough, a few thousand more: Dominoes Everywhere.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCRcjt2LAD4
Beautiful stats
American consumption statistics rendered as works of art.
http://www.chrisjordan.com/current_set2.php
Equals funny?
Jokes in the form of equations.
http://www.morenewmath.com/
QuOteD
"I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something." -- Mitch Hedberg
Jumpin' Jack Flash
Sure, it's good advice to steer clear of flatulence-related content. But when you look at the work put in by these two Cornell students on their final project, you have to consider it noteworthy.
http://instruct1.cit.cornell.edu/courses/ee476/FinalProjects/s2009/rac82_mos22/rac82_mos22/index.htm
Beard Thirty
Poets ranked by beard weight.
http://ajourneyroundmyskull.blogspot.com/2009/05/poets-ranked-by-beard-weight.html
Game break: Short-term memory
Can your short-term memory store more than the magic seven items before your head explodes?
http://neutralx0.net/home/mini04.html
Costly advice
How much for that doggie in the window? Priceless information.
http://www.whatitcosts.com/
Consult this
And finally, here's the consultant for all your Internet needs.
http://www.lolworld.com/
Famous last words
"A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains." -- Dutch proverb
Away,
Vin
Bendy dancing
Stick with it past the first minute and wonder whether these women even have spines.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mVpGmoES3w
Disturbing Strokes
MontyPropps says this turned out far more creepy than he thought it would.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kr-e3qGQ884
Censortive topic
The all-too-funny FX version of Samuel L. Jackson's famous line from "Snakes on a Plane" (which by the way you can now get on a T shirt).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4t6zNZ-b0A
Roomba lapsed
Apparently the path tracked via a time-lapse photo looks like neon silly string.
http://signaltheorist.com/?p=91
QuOteD
"The game of life is the game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy." -- Florence Shinn
Wall of YouTube
Make a swirling collage of any YouTube video you point it at -- for example this take on the classicohol "Beer Beer Beer".
http://www.yooouuutuuube.com/
You Can't Please Everyone
Enjoy one-star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature, such as "The Odyssey": "This book sucks. I dont care if Homer was blind or not this book is like 900 pages too long. I could tell this story in about 10 pages."
http://www.cynical-c.com/?cat=85
Game'd: Rotatspin
New twist to an old idea: rather than move and jump to avoid obstacles, stay put and the moving is done for you and you just need to time when to jump.
http://armorgames.com/play/3577/rotatspin
Where Are You in the Movie?
If we started a movie on the day you were born, and stretched it over your lifespan, this is where you'd be in that movie.
http://www.amberdigital.com/where/
Yankovich
And finally, a cool-ish bar trick: remove a cork from inside an empty wine bottle without breaking it (the cork or the bottle).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uL1ovAYtKuQ
Famous last words
"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart." -- e e cummings
Happy trails,
vW
Bigfoot caught on tape!!
Truly...amazing footage.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpXDxBT3evo
Free Hugs Prank: $2 Deluxe Hugs
Undercover modern-day street hippie obviously sporting an MBA.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJfYAJJYMqg
Slap chop rap
Infomercial meets autotune.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA&feature=player_embedded
Do dogs go to heaven?
A church sign "debate" over a burning issue. (Thanks Bomser)
http://vinweasel.posterous.com/do-dogs-go-to-heaven-0
QuOteD
"Yellow is the color of cowardice; mustard is the color of superiority and dominance." -- Dwight Schrute
Preach, baby, preach
Start 'em off young.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4FNGsNY3nI
Fri-Game: DeepLeap
The tagline "The Fast-Paced Time-Wasting Word Game" says it all.
http://deepleap.org/
The Eagle Has Taken Off
Amazing aerial flight footage from the eagle eye PoV.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APViUODDhT0
90 mins worth of car wrecks
For those who watch motorsports hoping to see something go bad -- more footage than you need of rally drivers spectacularly misjudging corners.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6894297344002627039
Famous last words
"A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people." -- Peter McArthur
Mahalo your weekend,
vW
Twitter in Real Life
Seems so much more engaging this way. This video might be a useful and amusing aid for those who "don't get it".
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1909386
Pick the Perp
A little visual quiz to test your judgment mettle. Remember: those appearing here have not been convicted of the arrest charge and are presumed innocent.
http://picktheperp.com/
Game over
A game developer resigns in style.
http://www.farbs.org/Message.html
Quick pic: Patient 0
http://imgur.com/27K39.jpg
QuOteD
"I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me." -- Dave Barry
Nekkid Barbie project
One man's quest to create an "anatomically correct" Barbie & Ken, including design, prototype, and harassing Mattel to start mass production. The photos of defenseless dolls getting drilled is a little plastic-graphic.
http://www.zug.com/pranks/barbie/
How to make a baby
You have no idea what you're going to get when you click this link.
http://www.otherthings.com/howtobaby/
Quick pic: Goatse goes mainstream
It only took 10 years, but Goatse has broken into mainstream advertising courtesy of these public toilet-paper dispensers from Denmark.
http://adweek.blogs.com/adfreak/2009/04/danish-bathroom-ads-dispense-with-nuance.html
Game break: Big Truck Adventures
Race your monster truck through the checkpoints, Z is brake and shift is boost use the arrows to drive!
http://bored.com/games/play/562/Big-Truck-Adventures.html
Office Synchronized Swimming
Or something like that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tCssbIhqsI
Auto-Tune the News
And finally, auto-tune is the effect used on modern pop records that makes the vocals sound like electro-eunuchs, but a ternd has been emerging to use the technology for comic effect, as in this example...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBb4cjjj1gI
Famous last words
"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain -- and most fools do." -- Dale Carnegie
Hasta,
vW
