Holy waters

Maybe you've seen Pope Francis's TED talk, a first of its kind for tech. Well Stephen Colbert imagined, almost too realistically, what it would be like if Jesus gave a TED talk. (The main bit starts around the 3-minute mark.)

And cleanliness next to godliness... grown men go through a car wash in a convertible, just for fun.

"All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays." -- Cathy Ladman

Next gear

Check out how this cyclist cruises to the front of the pack courtesy of a nifty little acrobatic stunt. The copy-cat motorcyclist at the end is a nice capper.

And other modes of transport, how to drive a stick-shift explained with death metal, a ridiculous idea well-played by guys who fully appreciate its ridiculousness.

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it. If you live." -- Mark Twain, "Taming the Bicycle"

Cinéma vérité

In sync with the release of The Circle, Screen Junkies made an honest trailer for The Social Network, "the world's smartest film about the world’s dullest premise".

And you know the line "Hasta La Vista, Baby", but what does The Terminator say in the Spanish language version of Terminator T2?

"What I've learned is that life is too short and movies are too long." -- Denis Leary

Mayo some music

What can you make with a simple jar of wholesome Hellmann's mayonnaise? Well when it's played like an instrument, great tunes in the form of a 9-track all-mayo studio jam session, that's what.

And apparently you can make a dress out of pizza, sort of, as costume designer Olivia Mears did.

Finally, this guy makes art by erasing the dirt on trucks.

"Practice safe eating — always use condiments." -- Unknown

Backfire

Driver attempts to cheat a traffic jam but it doesn't quite go as planned, and the universe delivers instant karma.

Also, this dad gave his kids' Little Tykes cars the Mad Max: Fury Road treatment.



Finally, men in lab coats sending car tires flying down a ski jump is strangely enjoyable to watch.

"Men are not punished for their sins, but by them." -- Elbert Hubbard

Muddled results

Watch what happened when WatchCut Video challenged veteran bartenders to guess which of these young-folk are under the legal drinking age. Maybe their success rate had to do with the unusually bright conditions.

And Einstein the African grey parrot recently celebrated his 30th birthday at Zoo Knoxville by showing off his prodigious vocal talents.



(He also does a decent Matthew McConaughey impression. Check out his YouTube channel for a whole lot more videos.)

"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?" -- Satchel Paige

Lightning strikes

Bowler realizes the dream of a perfect game in 86.9 seconds. (Sure he used 10 lanes, but still...)

And less recent but still impressive, a Japanese clerk who can stamp 100 pieces of paper in 18 seconds. I'm sure a robot has taken over this job by now.

"One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball." -- Don Carter

Broken silence

This fake-trailer for The Silence of the Lambs as a romantic comedy shows once again how editing, music, and voiceover can shape a film into anything you want it to be, though Anthony Hopkins' supreme creepiness just can't be edited out.

And it's you vs. 50 iconic film quotes, a quiz for movie buffs.

"I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience." -- Wilson Mizner

Nearer my dog to thee

It's pup vs. 'nanner, and cuteness wins.


Also, the artist behind the Tumblr GudGuyMaybe created a guide to remembering some common names in the canine kingdom.

http://gudguymaybe.tumblr.com/post/159613533453/heres-an-easy-guide-to-remember-some-dog-names

And finally, Japanese artist @yomoko888's crazy-realistic handmade felt dogs are a big hit for obvious reasons.

A post shared by 羊毛フェルト ＊yomoko888＊ (@yomoko888) on Mar 31, 2017 at 9:05pm PDT

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." -- Holbrook Jackson

Rest and resuscitation

Meanwhile in Glasgow... #pigeonCPR pic.twitter.com/0zkUNguwwR

— Charlotte (@Charlismyname) April 18, 2017

Probably never seen before, this ambiguous video clip appears to show a woman giving a pigeon CPR on the street in Glasgow.

And other misconstruals, did Jimi Hendrix really say, "'Scuse me, while I kiss this guy?" Well, no, but it's one of the misheard song lyrics cataloged for your reference and amusement.

"An imaginary ailment is worse than a disease." -- Yiddish Proverb

Dash-tardly villains

Driving in the U.S. has its perils (i.e., other people behind the wheel), but they've got their fair share of idjits on the roads in Australia, too, if I had to judge from this compilation of dashcam footage. (NB: A modicum of swearing in the video adds to enjoyment.)

And quite the challenge, this is one of the most complex intersections in the world.

"Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car." -- E. B. White

Round and round

Precision Rube Goldeberg-esque electro-mechanical "Rock Band" contraption from Neil Mendoza plays "Here Comes the Sun" in a unique sorta way. (If you want, you can make your own mechanical xylophone at Instructables.)


And an odd turn of events to see this dog being chased by a chair at the park.

"He who holds me by a thread is not strong; the thread is strong." -- Antonio Porchia

Invisible airwaves

There's whistling, and then there's this kind of whistling. Listen to Molly Lewis and understand why flutists are jealous.

And artist Yoshihiro Okada makes magnificent art from orange peels.

"What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art." -- Augustus Saint-Gaudens

Dino-mite

It's Easter and April Fools' Day rolled into one as French prankster Rémi Gaillard goes on an Easter egg hunt looking for a velociraptor egg and gets chased by its owner, to the hilarious shock and befuddlement (i.e., pranking) of a hapless jogger.

And you may not often watch TV with subtitles on, but it seems to be a hidden source of humor, which thankfully is collected by the subreddit r/sadlygokarts. Here's a curated chunk of that captioning comedy collection for your enjoyment.

"If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken Him completely by surprise." -- P.Z. Pearce

Heavy plastic band

The Wackids gave it the old kindergarten try when they performed Rage Against the Machine's "Killing in the Name" on a set of toy instruments.

And if you find the idea of living in a giant cowboy boot appealing, you can do it in Huntsville Texas for $1200 a month.

"You grow up the day you have the first real laugh at yourself." -- Ethel Barrymore

Dante's place

It's pretty scary how fast the flames spread in this 360-degree video of a house fire put together by the New Zealand Fire Service on its interactive website. Look up at the ceiling to see how intense it gets.

And a quick vocab quiz... "nice", "extravagant", and other words that used to mean something completely different.

"Practice fire safety - watch what you heat." -- Author Unknown

Time release time lapse

The surprising time-lapse beauty of capsules and tablets dissolving in water shows that science and art do indeed mix.

And who's in charge here? The Best Art is an artistic collaboration project in which a computer orders a human to create art; for example, "With a pair of earrings, design something that wastes".

"If God dropped acid, would he see people?" -- Steven Wright

Inadvertent aerobatics

From the roads of England, a drunk driver with a baby on board flips her car over roundabout, vaulting 14 feet in the air.

And a rider gets her ticket's-worth (and then some) at a Paris (France) fair when this bungee jump turns into a near-death experience.

"Fortune brings in some boats that are not steered." -- William Shakespeare

Snapback

Ever wonder what Snapchat would have been like as a desktop app back in the 90s, had it in fact existed?

And a stylish coffee table that looks like a giant floppy disk.

"Things ain't what they used to be and probably never was." -- Will Rogers

Breaking it down

Watch the Oregon DOT blow up a 200-ton boulder that was blocking a highway as a result of recent rockslides. (It went much better than Oregon's exploding whale some years back.)

And an archaeologist calculated the caloric content of an average human, even going so far as to itemize by body part.

"The shortest distance between two points is under construction." -- Noelie Altito

Adventures in orthodoxy

Montage of pure unexpectedness...

A clever montage of pure unexpectedness will keep you thinking. The banana -- and maybe all of them -- seems a metaphor for life.


And quite the opposite, Adam Hillman is an artist and self-styled object arranger. (If you're interested, prints of his work are available from Society6.)

A post shared by Adam Hillman (@witenry) on Mar 24, 2017 at 6:07am PDT

"When you're curious, you find lots of interesting things to do." -- Walt Disney

Abate and switch

Hoax Hotel prankster masterfully works over a 419 scammer -- an "FBI agent" named "Josh", by the way -- hassling him on the phone for about 20 minutes, sending him into a roiling rage.

And this nyukster dog owner photoshops cartoon arms onto his 3-legged best friend and posts them for the world to see.

A post shared by tripawd (@mydogbradley) on Feb 21, 2017 at 9:30am PST

"He who angers you conquers you." -- Elizabeth Kenny

Freshly reminted

Apparently Pepsi's recent flak-magnet of a commercial pseudo-starring Kendall Jenner was really meant to be one of those goofy Mentos "Freshmaker" ads from the 90s, as YouTuber Max Paolucci demonstrates.

And dancers do some high-speed mid-performance costume and make-up changes courtesy of a face-tracking projector.

"So long as there’s a jingle in your head, television isn’t free." -- Jason Love

Sign language

No need to wonder whether Sunriver Nature Center's sign about the swan is accurate.

And this one posted at a library pretty much nailed it, too.

"The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain." -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Displacement test

Most bizarre seats in the house watching synchronized swimmers under water and upside down.

And this motion-tracking dartboard guarantees you a bullseye on every throw.

"Be careful how you interpret the world: It is like that." -- Erich Heller

Cracking under pressure

This is what happens when you put a jumbo-size marshmallow gummy bear in a vacuum chamber and then raise it back to atmospheric pressure.

"You're one of the first people who's never lived in a world without Sesame Street." Or so says The Atlantic's life timeline.

"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." -- Havelock Ellis

Cache and carry

Watch as this busy badger buries a cow carcass that's substantially sizier than itself. Mmmm, leftovers for weeks...

And the highest places in each of the 50 American states (altitude, that is), mapped courtesy of Atlas Obscura.

"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" -- Tommy Smothers

Bankers' hours

Surreptitious video of failed late-night bank break-in attempt by a gang of masked amateur thieves in France.

And strange laws from all around the world show humanity's varying beliefs and attitudes, a much of it to regulate morality.

"When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty." -- Norm Crosby

Get your kicks

Best friends? Man at the beach tries to kick a dog and fails. And then it gets better...


And a quick, six-question quiz: Was the painting painted by a respected human artist or an ape?

"Life is a zoo in a jungle." -- Peter De Vries