How do you mean?

Though not really coming to a theater near you, Mr. Bean recut as a psychological thriller might sell some tickets somewhere this summer. (Or at least probably better than the horror flicks that were the original Bean movies.)

"It is now life and not art that requires the willing suspension of disbelief." -- Lionel Trilling

Justice is served

Woman escapes her kidnapper by jumping out of the trunk of his moving car after he stopped at a gas station. [bOING bOING]

And if you order just "cheese" from a McDonald's self-service machine, and you'll get what you ask for (and probably what you deserve), this fellow found out.

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." -- C. S. Lewis

Headstart

I don't know if this St. Patrick's Day challenger downing a pint in 15 seconds while standing on his head is Guinness record-worthy, but he probably can drink you under the table (literally).

And this analog camera made from 32,000 drinking straws gives you some light-captured moments with a unique giant-pixel look.

"An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth." -- Irish Saying

Blanket statement

Note to self about train stations and fresh snowfalls... remember to stand back from the track, lest ye be blasted.

And it's bracket time again, so you're no doubt focused on who will win Name of the Year. Here are your top seeds:

• Kobe Buffalomeat, Illinois State football recruit
• Marmaduke Trebilcock, late 19th-century Cornwall immigrant and Wisconsin lawyer
• Chardonnay Pantastico, University of Hawaii softball recruit
• Quindarious Monday, Georgia high-school football player

Names are serious business.

"Winter is nature’s way of saying, 'Up yours.'" -- Robert Byrne

Molasses transit

It's man vs. machine as this fellow hops off the London Underground and beats the train to the next station.

And telling the time was never so annoying... MNTNT's Albert Clock makes you do math to tell the time. (Also available as a mobile app if you're inclined to bring the agony with you.)

"Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time finds time on his side." -- The Talmud

Veggie melt

Watching frozen fruits and vegetables peacefully defrosting is both relaxing and colorful.

Also frosty, an intense cold snap turned this home on Lake Ontario in New York into an ice castle/prison.




And finally, states with the most miserable winters, ranked.

"Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat." -- Ann Landers

In sickness and in health

Man works through meticulous plan (including a small plane flight, "marry me" sign on the ground, etc.) to propose to his girlfriend, then promptly barfs at her feet. Ah, true love.

Garth Algar: Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl?

Wayne Campbell: I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.

[imdb.com]

Crystal light

Giant jellyfish-like programmable soft mesh LED display creates possibilities for some nifty hypnotic artistry, both indoors and out.

"To send light into the darkness of men's hearts — such is the duty of the artist." -- Robert Schumann

Tanks a lot

Thomas the Tank Engine mechanized into a walking radio-controlled flamethrower looks ready to dominate on toy soldier battlefields.

And combine space and time with a beautiful watch that contains a mini mechanical model of the solar system.

"War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands." -- H.L. Mencken

Unspoken words

Australian comedy group Collective Noun put together a video of things you'll never hear in an office. Nothing lost in translation.

And tug-of-war: it's all fun and games until someone loses a body part. "Their hands are in His hands"?? I never would have imagined...

"The least productive people are usually the ones who are most in favor of holding meetings." -- Thomas Sowell

Breaking it down

Take a look at demographics, habits, living conditions, etc., if only 100 people lived on Earth.

And bottoms up... ranging from 12 up to 21, the legal drinking age in countries around the world, mapped.

"He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough." -- Lao Tzu

Off track

We know that "The Big Bang Theory" is disturbingly revealed for what it is when the laugh track is removed, but what about when the studio audience is replaced by Ricky Gervais?

And a bonus clip of the show with laugh track replaced by children screaming.




(If you're interested, you might find this bit of video about how laugh tracks work to be educational.)

"Television has changed a child from an irresistible force to an immovable object." -- Author Unknown

More spin cycle

Man and his unbalanced washer perform a rousing white trash rendition of "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" in yet another case of machines taking our jobs.

And some bizarro adult/kid face-swaps that you might find just a little unsettling.

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." -- Berthold Auerbach

All down the line

A French artist duo known as DFT creates beautiful drawings with just one continuous line, never taking pen off of paper. Apparently they can spend months conceptualizing a project... quite a lot of time for single-line minimalism.

"Only the mediocre are always at their best." -- Jean Giraudoux

Drive for show and putt for dough

Check out Bubba Watson's flying 200 HP jetpack "golf cart" that should help speed you through your round and into a hospital bed. [Slashgear]

And no need for a short game when you can sink a putt from nearly 400 feet away.

"Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart." -- Arthur Daley

Splinter faction

Lumberjack cowboys ride the robotic arm of a logging machine seeking eight seconds of rodeo-like glory.

And a strange competition from Japan's Bald Men Club, which stages a scalp tug-o-war as they attempt to brighten the world with their shiny heads.

"For two hundred years we've been conquering Nature. Now we're beating it to death." -- Tom McMillan

Shipshape

YouTuber DrMachakil wondered what it would be like if J. Jonah Jameson ran The Daily Planet in this motion picture mashup featuring the incomparable J.K. Simmons.

And this guy chose a pretty bold way to quit his crappy job. Or so the photo would have you believe.

My husband's letter of resignation

"I'm quitting to pursue my dream of not working here." -- Author Unknown

Put up your Dukes

Real-life Hazzard county action plays out as this stolen truck avoids police roadblock by flying through the air at 115 mph and promptly crash-lands on a car in a restaurant parking lot.

And speaking of irresponsible behavior, there's a new tracker to find out how much your congressperson is spending.

"Remember folks, street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph." -- Jim Samuels