Crackberry

Crackberry
There comes a time to rest your thumbs, look up, and admit you may be a chronic mobile messager.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMMCwaN2LqA


MadTV iPhone
In a similar vein, an amusing sketch about Steve Jobs and the iPhone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgZKjJt-TkU


Quote of the Day
"For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three."
- Alice Kahn


Unnecessary censorship
Here's an idea: censoring innocent TV clips to create the impression of naughty concealed goings-on. A little long, so your mileage may vary.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc6w4SzIUN0


Friday game: Move the brown block to the end of the maze. Sounds simple, right? Good luck with this frustrating PitA.
Blocked out - http://www.addictinggames.com/blockout.html


Inappropriate quotation marks
Always use quotes for emphasis. Or ignorance.
http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/

Impending doom

OJ's 8th Birthday
You shoulda known he was crazy then; only got crazier with age. If the candles are lit, then you must acquit. (Thanks Kory)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Mj_Bq_muxo


Speeding fine isn't
Bad luck trying to pull over for the police. Guess those 15 beers you had don’t matter much now. Ouch. (Thanks Lynette)
http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=714017


Quote of the Day
"I have failed many times, and that's why I am a success."
-- Michael Jordan


Bored Workers Equal Fun
Idle construction workers with heavy equipment can only mean that good things will happen. Unless you let go.
http://www.break.com/index/bored-constuction-workers-equal-fun.html

And when miners get "bored" (sorry), it seems they turn to making Land Cruiser pancakes.
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3d7_1193971489


Game time: you are the Average Joes Gym dodgeball team competing at the Vegas International tournament, if that's any inspiration.
Dodgeball - http://www.gamegecko.com/dodgeball.php


The Comics Curmudgeon
This guy writes dry and witty critiques of those mainly idiotic comic strips that have been around the block, for example with this comment of the week: "Johnny goes through mustache wax like it's going out of style. Which, coincidentally, it did, about 125 years ago."
http://www.joshreads.com/

Tipsy

Tipping Point
Guinness just launched "Tipping Point", the most expensive TV ad in its 80-year marketing history, with a domino rally that features cars, flaming hay bales and grandfather clocks. Shot up an Argentinian mountain, the ad shows a community coming together to create the mother of all domino-toppling spectacles. (Production cost: $10 million) Cooler than the temp at which the beer is typically served.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiZuTkAk2js


Rocky in five seconds
From an epic extravaganza to the other end, here's an extremely brief re-edit of the entire Rocky canon, saying all that needs to be said. The dude who did it has a fair number of viddies up on YouTube, including a few gems.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=mj3xM4mFS9Y


Quote of the Day
"No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other."
-- Jascha Heifetz


I told you not to play with your food
The often brutal animal kingdom occasionally has a nice side. (Really -- this isn't a cheap trick. Would NPR lie to us?)
http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/play/audiogallery/soundseen.shtml

They were also able to determine the real cause of global warming:




Quick Quiz: Minimalist Art Gallery
This page contains a dozen images -- one authentic work of so-called "minimalist" art and the rest are fakes. Can you identify the real masterpiece?
http://mindbluff.com/minimal.htm


Finger Jousting
Sport of modern day would-be knights or most asinine thing you’ve seen in a while? I know which finger I’d be using. Pointless (pun intended).
http://www.fingerjoust.com/

News alert: Monkeys rampage in Indian capital

"Just weeks after the Indian capital's deputy mayor toppled to his death fighting off a pack of monkeys, the animals are back on the attack, sparking fresh concerns about the simian menace."

Are monkeys sacred cows in Indian culture?

Or as my old Pops commented, "The evolution of these 'pit monkeys' has been traced by Al Gore's group directly to an event where groups funded by George W. Bush began destroying the rainforests where the simians traditonally resided, resulting in their disenfranchisement."

McMagic

Magic Burger Trick
Cyril Takayama is a Japanese/French-Moroccan illusionist, born and raised in Hollywood, and perhaps best known for his street magic performances in Japan. In this trick he makes a hamburger appear from a menu and eats it. Is this (finally) truth in advertising for real...???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W1W84KhifQ

You say goodbye, I say hello. A couple of items from the gallery of the hard-to-believe. doG help us...

The Glambo Signature Series "Hello Kitty" HK-AK-47
Who knew HK stood for something else? Either way, a perfect gift for the young lady of the house.
http://www.glamguns.com/hk47.html

Hello Kitty Bank Account
Maybe a co-marketing opportunity for stashing the proceeds from your HK mercenary activities.
http://www.dahsing.com.hk/dsb/rbd/html/iac_pink_e.htm

Daily Quote Quota
"Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position."
-- Christopher Marlowe

OR -- stat!
If there's the slightest chance you may be suddenly called upon to perform hip replacement or resurfacing surgery, you'll want to try these interactive tutorials from Edheads first.

Pneumatic Anatomica
Creative (and then some) little work of cartoon art. (That apparently means balloon anatomy, in case you didn't know.)
http://freeny.deviantart.com/art/Pneumatic-Anatomica-53318794

Ugly Mickey
The line between Mickey and nomal dirtbag mouse is apparently quite blurry.
http://mickeyfeio.wordpress.com/

This is your brain on sewage

Yeah, and you can smoke cat turds and get high, too. Despite the undetermined status on Snopes, I'm guessing this Jenkem stuff is...uh...bullshit. I've been unfortunate enough to wander in to a port-a-crapper which has "raw sewage" fermenting in the sun for hours and days and I've never been the beneficiary of a contact high. But put me down for some if it rolls your way. (Thanks Wendell)

New Drug Alert!
Florida sheriff's bulletin warns of purported new human waste high
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1105072jenkem1.html

Ol' Blue

A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money.

He calls home. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk."

"That's amazing!" his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?" "Just send him down here with $2,000," the young jackaroo says, "I'll get him in the course." So ... his father sends the dog and $2,000.

About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. "So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?" his father wants to know. "Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm. But you just won't believe this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read."

"Read?!" exclaims his father. "No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?" "Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class."

The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal. Then he suddenly turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead barmaid at the pub?'"

The father groans and whispers, "I hope you shot that bastard before he talks to your Mother!"

"I did Dad."

Punned it

Celebrity puns
Giant_squid has glued together all the worst 'Wesley Snipes' nominative determinist celebrity gags in this ode to celebrity puns. Cripes, the sheer pun density is exhausting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUt76HhemUk

All groan up
If you liked (hated) that, you might enjoy this story. The guy who wrote these 10 puns entered them in a contest. He figured with 10 entries, he couldn't lose. As they were reading the list of winners, he was really hoping one of his puns would win, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did. (I hear the moans and gnashing of teeth.)
http://ruseroius.blogspot.com/2007/06/10-groaners.html

QotD
"Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all."
-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Album cover montage
Something like a pictoral pun, check out this "new images from old" created via creative positioning of album covers. Imaginative, simple, and no cheating with Photoshlop.
http://www.afhakers.nl/media.asp?x=7995

Game-ish: interesting first-person "shooter" -- Spot the Difference
http://www.godlimations.com/spotthedifference.html

Cards for the incarcerated
If you know someone in the joint, then Three Squares Greetings -- "For those who can't come home" -- is the greeting card line for you. Perfect for all occasions.
http://www.threesquaresgreetings.com/

Happy Birthday, USMC

Words of our fathers.
http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=23341

For 4 of the 232 years (1.7% of the time) that there has been a US Marine Corps, they were honored by my presence. In tribute to my exalted standing, they paid me poorly, lavished almost no rank on me and insisted on discipline and also that I think for myself. And it was always expected that I "measure up". It was my first and defining experience as an adult. And everyday since, through my blunders and successes, the Marine Corps' shadow lingers close by.

"And you'll be a Marine until the day you die." Words that ring as true today as they were when I first heard them as a 17-year old kid a half a century ago.

The Marine Corps' birthday is one day every year that might bring tears to my eyes. Part of it is of course remembering my youth and the innocent kid that stood in ranks so long ago but I think its also because life was simpler and honor and duty were things to be proud of. Taking care of your friends and knowing they would do the same.

Happy Birthday, USMC.

Wendell Harris
1838394

Walk before you run

Would He Run?
Well-contrived prank from a Japanese "Candid Camera"-esque TV show. His running looks a lot like his walking, though the Samurai aren't exactly running 4.2 40s. (Thanks Rohan)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WFkCjQAltc

Step into my office
From what appears to be the Canadian show of this ilk, "Just For Laughs Gags", this one's sort of bizarre. Shot in Montreal, which might explain some things.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBESV1DodaY

QotD
"First things first, but not necessarily in that order."
-- Doctor Who

Education corner: Weird words that just don't translate
Here's a sampling from a new collection of words and phrases from around the world for which English has no direct counterpart. (For example, Poronkusema -- Finnish: the distance equal to how far a reindeer can travel without a comfort break.)
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weirdworld/2007/10/23/weird-and-wondrful-foreign-phrases-89520-19993239/

Friday game: Slap the Nerd - a bit of simple sadistic gratification.
http://www.funny-games.biz/slapthenerd.html

Stacked
Check out the world record holder at the WSSA World Sport Stacking Championships. (And yes, this appears to be a real, highly competitive hobby.) Rack 'em.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJEdkK6-aYI

Friday joke: Understanding Scotland (Thanks AJUK)

At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, lead singer Bono asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.

Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet... "Well, foockin' stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!"

Echopraxia

Echopraxia
Simple enough but fairly cool, once you stop wondering what's going on. Worth a minute, I reckon.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7215848919348540891

Pipe Dream
More cool things with balls...this vidimation has been elevated to "all-time classic". And apparently for some reason you can get it on DVD.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5503582578132361295&hl=en

QotD
"What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance."
-- Havelock Ellis

What's He Saying?
Play the clip several times, alternating between looking at the talking head while listening, and listening with your eyes shut. Most adults (98%) think they are hearing "DA" -- a so called "fused response" -- where the "D" is a result of an audio-visual illusion. In reality you are hearing the sound "BA", while you are seeing the lip movements "GA". Known as the "McGurk effect" apparently, probably just because it sounds odd.
http://www.media.uio.no/personer/arntm/McGurk_english.html

1=1000
Worth spending a few secs checking out the photos of Trey Ratcliff, who uses the "high dynamic range" technique to produce stunning images.

How to make a spider out of scissors
And better yet, they were confiscated at the airport. Run from, and not with, this thing.
http://funfever.blogspot.com/2007/11/spider-made-from-scissors-confiscated.html

Handy tips

Waitless
Sprint (the telecom company) is graciously doing a little public service with some handy tips on saving time in life. How about not having to redial a dropped connection...??
http://www.waitless.org/

Tourette's add-on
Here's a simple Firefox browser add-on that will insert swearwords into any text you try to type. The appeal, obviously, is to surreptitiously download on a friend's machine and watch his bewilderment as he is helpless to prevent a simple work memo from becoming obscene gibberish.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=kvFfcdZkGDI

QotD
"We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know."
-- W. H. Auden

Quick strip: Escape is Impossible. Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...
http://www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/58443/1193225690/spyroom.jpg

How to stash your stash
In one segment of what's apparently a whole series, ex-policemen Barry Cooper explains (at length) how to avoid getting caught while transporting drugs. It's interesting stuff, although he has a tendency to belabor the point. Then again, he is trying to explain this stuff to stoners...
http://www.dailymotion.com/search/never+get+busted+again/video/x30so0_barry-cooper-never-get-busted-again_politics

Game-ish: Test your Eye-Q
A little game to see if you can go blind in 30 seconds using a high resolution monitor.
http://mindbluff.com/images/gameeyeq.htm

"Dough-Nu-Matic"
The culmination of American consumer electronics: this $130 starch-and-sugar-dispensing wonder is an all-in-one machine that forms and fries mini-doughnuts in just under a minute. D'oh.
http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2007/10/31/doughnumatic-automat.html

Manipulation

Origami Animation
Watch the stop-action folding action unfold.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iVP0tzwhVc

Slick Stick Skills
This bear seems to know what he's doing with a stick. Next up...nunchucks? Or maybe lead the Cal marching band?
http://view.break.com/380352

QotD
"The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance."
-- Laurence J. Peter

Top 15 Manipulated Photographs
Images have become the mainstay of our experience of historical events and occasionally people have felt the need to manipulate those images to support their views or their "version" of the truth. And Photoslop and the interweb ain't making it any better.
http://listverse.com/history/top-15-manipulated-photographs/

Game on: Trap the cat (it's harder than it looks)
http://www.gamedesign.jp/flash/chatnoir/chatnoir.html

Kernel expanders
High-speed video of popcorn kernel popping -- "like a high speed flower in bloom" -- at 5,400 fps.
http://www.oomsa.com/node/816

The Laws of Life

Presumably with credit to Murphy. (Thanks rasric)

& Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

& Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

& Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

& Law of the Telephone
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

& Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

& Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

& Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

& Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

& Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

& Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

& Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

& Law of Coffee
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

& Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

& Law of Rugs
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the rug.

& Law of Location
No matter where you go, there you are.

& Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

& Brown's Law
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

& Oliver's Law
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

& Wilson's Law
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (this one is true every time!)

& Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Versus

Cartoonist vs. Cartoonist
Bigeyedeer and Seemikedraw, cartoonists extraordinaire, run a blog where they pick a random word as a theme then try to outdo each other's comic efforts. Good stuff that should keep you supplied with wry chuckles for a good whiles.
http://pencilsatdawn.wordpress.com

The Superest
In a similar vein, this is a continually running game of superhero one-upsmanship: Player 1 draws a character with a power. Player 2 then draws a character whose power cancels the power of that previous character. Rinse. Repeat.
http://thesuperest.com/

QotD
"When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt."
-- Henry J. Kaiser

Retail Store Space
Did you know that WallMart is bigger than New York? Check out this interesting graphic...
http://awesome.goodmagazine.com/transparency/007/trans007storespace.html

Altruistic game break: Free Rice is nice
A little game to play for a good cause -- for each word you get right, they donate 10 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program.
http://www.freerice.com/index.php

The World's Only Scuba Diving Cat
Hawkeye, a feline from Redding, CA, loves to scuba dive with her owner, with dives an hour long or more. And she even has a canine diving buddy. And to think that I can't even get my cat into a flea bath.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4275440853107357955&hl=en

Leftover Halloween treats

Boner Skeleton
A good practical joke, with a high degree of anatomical difficulty. Is that a coccyx in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? (Thanks Kate)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEfn54GixAg

Ghost Carves Pumpkin
Nifty video of jack-o-lantern carving skills by a ghost.
http://www.gearlog.com/2007/10/scarelog_ghost_carves_pumpkin.php

Halloweenie
Like it or not, RayGun wrote in with the costume photo of the year (so far) by Warren Ellis. Warning: possible psychological damage, though laughably ridiculous. http://www.warrenellis.com/?p=5260

QotD
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."
-- Elbert Hubbard

Extreme Pumpkins
More photos of orange agents, including an all-time favorite: "puking pumpkin".
http://www.extremepumpkins.com/pumpkinphotos.html

Friday game doubleheader
Defend your house agains the hordes of zombies in Hungry are the Dead
http://www.zombiegames.net/Hungry-are-the-Dead.html

Squash as many cats as possible in ten frames of Cat Bowling
http://www.itsga.com/fun/cat_new.swf

If The Dead Ruled
Our friends at Worth1000 posed the following: "What would happen if the dead walked the earth? Oh sure, at first there's be the stalking and the screaming, but after they managed to kill off all the living, what would they do with the rest of their un-life?" A corpse is a corpse, of course, of course.
http://www.worth1000.com/cache/contest/contestcache.asp?contest_id=17134

Beware! The Blog II

Blogging career. The very words fill me with a simultaneous buoyancy and nausea...anyone who has something to say can write it, publish it on the web for free, and possibly even make a living doing it. Sounds like my kinda place, at least in theory.

Instant journalism, in a sense -- just add blogger. You are your own media outlet. Unfortunately it seems you need to have something to say...though how hard can it be to find an audience in an age where we do literally have 500+ TV channels (apparently Discovery now has a dedicated channel for each animal species), countless web sites, and more amateur "entertainers" than we could ever have time or inclination to experience?

My friend Beth has recently started blogging...

it's friday and other things for which I'm grateful
http://www.tgif-andotherthings.blogspot.com/


...and so did Lilia:

DriveALotAndDrinkRealFast
http://www.liliaworks.blogspot.com/


These are what you'd call personal blogs, which I think limits readership to one degree of separation unless either you're Dave Barry or you lead a pretty interesting life and have more than a modicum of writing talent.

I, however, am imagining something quite different. (Emphasis on imagining.)

And then the small chunk of my brain that's still vaguely working kicks into gear. No doubt, it's true what they say about things that are too good to be true...

Money Walks

Money Walks, Bullsh*t Wins the White House
Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters
The upcoming 2008 election--perhaps more than any recent election--is important. Will we take a turn to the left, or steer further to the right? We will fall deeper into recession and war, or return to peace and prosperity? Fortunately, it's all riding on the true core substance of any modern election: bullsh*t. The Onion News Network wades deep into it with these poll results.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/68210

Marriage
The two-minute drill on marital bliss fom a guy (Jeff Dunham, apparently) and his dummy. (Thanks AJUK)
http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=804288

QotD
"The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to
laugh at it."
-- Bill Nye

Tiger Play
On a not-unrelated topic, how to survive a tiger attack.
http://www.shooshtime.com/sfw/18444_Tiger-Play.html

Game break: Word Web is a word association game where you figure out the connections between words. Not sure I really got it, but it might keep you entertained for a few minutes.
http://shygypsy.com/farm/p.cgi

Wake up cat
Cute animation of a little cat exhausting all his tricks to wake up his sleepy owner. I wouldn't put this behavior past a cat -- they'll stop at nothing to annoy you, sometimes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmwqpHsMExg